Privacy policy

You wont read this. Good, neither do I.

But the deal is simple: I do specifically NOT want your information, really I DO NOT AT ALL want to know, any personal, or whatsoever, anything, any detail, about your preference in tomato ketchups and sex toys or what have you. Nada, Nothing Zap. Zut.

Who the royal I, we, are, and other legal matters

Look, take a wild guess? nyvang.com – my name is: Nyvang. You got that one right. You can look me up on Mars and I won’t be there… but Musk maybe is, desperately holding his PrayPal in lone freezing amazement. It is up to you. If this. Matters.

Legal complaints should be written in detail by hand on three identical manually by trained scribes copied letters in perfectly styled calligraphy, signed and sealed by seven witnesses. The envelope must include one analogue black & white group photo (digital in any form is not accepted due to climate change); included should furthermore be seven hand drawn portraits, in which each of you should hold a differently colored rose in your left hand, and keep your right hand on your nose. Finally, the letter should contain the last ten years of each witnesses electricity or other utility bill, TAX return forms and the ORIGINAL passports or other non-falsifiable ID papers, of which we give NO GUARANTEE WHATSOEVER OF EVER RETURNING (your country can do that for you, at least, I mean come on, that’s the least your country can do for you). The letter containing this information should be sent to my address which will be informed to you if I think so. And there are plenty of emails to ask me that question by. Just browse the website and you shall find.

Maybe you think this is a bit excessive? If so, check out what PayPal ask of you, or any other large organisation?

That considered I conceived this as a perfectly adequate respite to these trillion dollar legal full bananas over the top non-productive what-so-ever non-essentials.

Give your hard earned money to the fucking flamenco dancers instead, please! Really, do that.

This page is, as of July 20 in the year 2021 AD on planet Earth, a, in perpetuity universally, multiversally, metaunimultilateralversally, strictly copyrighted, and registered, hard work of art. (c)(r)(p) Earth Art Collective and Michael Nyvang, as well as a protected trademark eternally recursively protective of itself.

Any dis’ing of this will turn your Gods against you. And have you none all will oppose you, even your f…… handlebar moustache barbershops.

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